Opus 2026-385: Keep Walking

Do you have the discipline to keep walking?  This came to mind today as I was carrying a load of laundry toward the bedroom and the microwave beeper went off.  The first thought that came to my mind was, “I need to go take care of that.”  Common sense kicked in, and I kept walking.  That was the catalyst for the thought.

Have you ever had the experience where you will be on your way to do something, think of something else you should be doing, turn around head back to your starting point, realize this is silly, turn around and go on your way again, think “No I need to do this while I’m thinking about it”, turn around…  You get the picture.  This happens to me every once in a while.  I find that I need to develop the discipline to finish one task before I start another.  It is so easy to get distracted.

My wife loves to distract me.  I can be in the process of making oatmeal in the morning and she will ask me to do something.  What she wants is no big deal . It only takes a moment.  In the moment, I forget what’s going on and before I know it the oatmeal is sticking to the bottom of the pan.  That’s what happens if I’m lucky.  If I really drift off, then we have major cleaning issues.

So I need to learn to keep walking.  Usually the house is not burning down no matter how frantic my wife sounds.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-301: Ode to Old: Time to Get with It

I am on the verge of giving in to one of the current fashion trends.  I am ready to stop shaving every day.

One reason I am reluctant to go that route is that a decline in personal hygiene is one of the marks of old age.  Often old people stop bathing and even flushing the toilet.  Water costs money, you know.

For this I can thank the young men of today.  They spend great effort making it look like they shaved two days ago.  I think it might take more time than actually doing the deed but for some reason it is considered stylish.  Why should I suffer when simply by ignoring it I can look cool?

Or will it just make me look older?

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-277: It Comes with Age

It is amazing how many things you learn about as you get older.  They can’t be new since they are part of the human condition but I don’t remember ever hearing about them.

The topic of revelation today is “floaters”.

If you are older you know of what I speak.  If you are younger you think of root beer or leaves in a stream.  If you are younger it would never occur to you that such things exists.  I wonder if my elders never spoke of them or if I just ignored it.

Floaters are generated when small parts of your retina break off and begin to float around in your vitreous humor.  Many are little specks that your learn to ignore.  Others are large enough that you think there are mice running along beside your car.  At best it is irritating.  Think of being surrounded by non-existent mosquitoes.  At worst it can be dangerous.

I am told that they eventually dissolve.  Such a process is not obvious because they seem to keep getting replaced.

Put it in your file of things to look forward to along with arthritis and memory loss.  Try to have a happy day while you still can.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-238: Of Two Minds

I am coming out of a part of my down cycle.  There are days in which I can go for long periods of time content to stare at the wall and daydream.  I tend to think of it as classic nursing home mentality.  I could be content to just veg out and not struggle with anything but getting enough fiber in my diet.

There are other times when ideas seem to be lined up waiting to pop into my head.  The issue is finding enough time to write them down.  That leaves nothing for developing them and making them coherent.  Then I top out and head down again.

I have grown used to it and accept that there is little I can do about the down times.  One reason is that when I am overcome with ennui I don’t care about doing anything about anything.  There is still that little voice down inside poking me in the ego and saying, “Get up and do something. Take that first step.”  I am good at ignoring that little voice.

Which will it be?  One side says writing on Blogger is enough.  The other side says, “No. Explore some other platforms.  Go out in a blaze of glory.  Have posts lined up so that you are dead for a month before anyone knows it is over.” 

If you are getting old I am sure you know the feeling of your teenage attitudes locked in your wheelchair body.  Sometimes it is a drag.  Other times it is a glorious challenge. I wait to see what the rest of the day holds.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-223: Of Two Minds

I am coming out of a part of my down cycle.  There are days in which I can go for long periods of time content to stare at the wall and daydream.  I tend to think of it as classic nursing home mentality.  I could be content to just veg out and not struggle with anything but getting enough fiber in my diet.

There are other times when ideas seem to be lined up waiting to pop into my head.  The issue is finding enough time to write them down.  That leaves nothing for developing them and making them coherent.  Then I top out and head down again.

I have grown used to it and accept that there is little I can do about the down times.  One reason is that when I am overcome with ennui I don’t care about doing anything about anything.  There is still that little voice down inside poking me in the ego and saying, “Get up and do something. Take that first step.”  I am good at ignoring that little voice.

Which will it be?  One side says writing on Blogger is enough.  The other side says, “No. Explore some other platforms.  Go out in a blaze of glory.  Have posts lined up so that you are dead for a month before anyone knows it is over.” 

If you are getting old I am sure you know the feeling of your teenage attitudes locked in your wheelchair body.  Sometimes it is a drag.  Other times it is a glorious challenge.  I wait to see what the rest of the day holds.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-213: In Which I Am Put in My Place

It isn’t really Click Bait but it comes close. You may have your kids bring in the mail and instruct them to throw out the junk. I am the kid in our house. If you ever look through it you will find a packet of coupons on a regular basis. They come in different formats. Some are in a big envelope. Others come wrapped in clear plastic. The contents are a form of analog click bait. Every once in awhile I am bored enough to leaf through them. I am rarely disappointed, none of it interests me.

That does not mean I cannot be taken for granted or insulted. As I went through the pile I noticed one with a bunch of names on it announcing something called I-Heart Country Festival. On it were listed eleven names. I did not even get a glimmer of recognition for any of them. I assume they are some level of country music artists. It was good to know that I could get tickets from ticketmaster so they must be legit.

I am aware that I am not cutting edge in current culture. As a rule, that does not bother me. I have a saying that I made up for use with the eighth graders I used to teach, “Being the deepest puddle on the sidewalk is nothing to brag about.” At the same time I used to at least recognize the names of the rich and famous.

Do I need to expand my world? Nah. My corner is just fine.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-187: Alternate Reality

In science fiction one of the themes is alternate reality.  The concept is that at key moments of decision or action there are at least two possible paths.  Take one such moment that I read about recently.  If Charles Martel had lost at Tours then the Muslim armies would have continued north and I would be writing in Arabic today.  Of course that assumes I would even know how to write.  The story writers will say that such a future did take place and exists in a parallel universe.  In their stories people cross over from one to the other and if they are worth reading, a good time is had by all.

We have seen science adopt the idea in what they call the multiverse.  There is no proof for such a thing.  It defies all the known laws of science but it is the child of necessity. The reason they go that way is because if they don’t they might have to admit the existence of God.  Heaven forbid, if you will excuse the expression.

As I was pondering a conflict in my life this concept came to mind, but in reverse.  The real life situation, which I am sure many husbands have experienced, is when you ask your wife where cheese grater is.  Her answer?  Where it has always been.  Ignore the fact that I did not ask where it has always been even though that might be a better question.  My problem is I can remember at least three different places that it has been kept.  I have checked all three, therefore it must be in a fourth.  Sounds logical but in her universe it has always been in the same place.

I occurred to me that what is happening is that several different realities have come together in my consciousness at this moment.  Right now the grater has always been in the same place.  In the other three realities it was kept in various different locations.

Of course it could be that as my mind ages I just don’t remember.  I think I am going to go with my new theory.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-168: On the Street: What’s My Hurry

As I get older, I find myself constantly less irritated by the slow drivers that seem to always get in front of me.  I used to fuss and fume.  Now I just kind of sit back and enjoy the ride.  Well, not always, but more and more often.  I find this produces two juxtaposition ideas.

On the one side I’m getting older and I am retired, so I have more time.  What is the rush?  I’ve learned that most things will wait for me to get there, and if it requires being super on time, it may not be worth doing.

On the other side, I don’t have as much time.  I’m getting old.  The clock is winding down.  I don’t claim I have crested the hill and started down the other side, but I’m certainly getting close to the summit.  So maybe I should hurry up a little bit more.  Maybe I should be more impatient.  After all, they may be robbing me of my last chance to stop at my favorite restaurant or visit the library.  You never know about these things.

At least it builds my character.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-128: Retired Occupations

How do I spend my time now that I’m retired?

Much of my time to be spent in what might be called meditation.  It is part of my worship.  Some synonyms for such meditation would be pondering, contemplating, musing, considering, introspection, thinking.  I will find myself on the front porch at all hours of the day, looking at creation and sensing the presence of God.  It is glorious.

I also do some writing.  That is what this is.  I have a lot of ideas that float through my mind and no one to try them out on so I submit them to the ether world.  It is almost like a pressure that keeps building up and needs an outlet.  My friends and family don’t realize how much nonsense they are spared.

There are a decreasing number of basic maintenance things that I do around the house such as changing air filters.  Those are decreasing partly from my decrease in ability but even more so because my wife thinks I can’t do it or isn’t willing to wait for me to do it.  Every once in awhile I tell myself I need to do things like dust my bookshelves and sometimes I even do it.  Then I ask myself, “Why?”  I really don’t care about dust on my bookshelves or ceiling fans.  It never bothers me.  It doesn’t trip me or cause me pain.  I never hear the books complaining.  Live and let live.

I read and take notes on what I read.  I am not sure what I am going to do with the notes but a part of me is sure that I will need the information some day.

I play with my grandchildren.

I talk to my crazy friend on the phone.

I listen to monologues.  I try to keep out of the way of these things but there is only so much you can do.  Other people in my life don’t have the benefit of writing.  They must speak it for it to be real.

I would agree with the other old folks who say that they don’t know how they got everything done when they were working.  I wonder if eternity will involve having lists and actually using them or whether we will just develop the gift of forgetting.

Ask me on the other side.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-076: Late Blooming

What areas of growth are open to you when you approach 80?

I know I need to accept that fact that I am old but even harder to accept is the concept that I have wisdom to share.  Part of that acceptance is involved in the futility of blogging.  What kind of arrogance assumes that being able to write a paragraph and remember the final period qualifies you to be read?  Long ago I decided that it was more an inner urge to express myself than to actually think I would go viral.

Another approach I am trying to figure out is finding a coffee shop to hang around in and develop some dialogue.  I have a vague idea how it would work but starting to move is difficult.  First I need to find a place where I can sit and study without putting them out of business by tying up a table.  Then I need the consistency and patience to wait for things to develop.  Over time the regulars begin to recognize each other.  If they are all introverts like me it never moves beyond a nod of the head.  If there is an extrovert in the group then contact might be made.

I am working on a few areas.  My fingers are getting too stiff to play chords on the guitar and my voice is becoming an embarassment so I am working on playing the melody off the sheet music.  So far I can get by in three keys.  More to come, I hope.  I am starting to play around with the recorder.  Little progress at this point.  I dug my golf clubs out of mothballs and am starting to walk nine hole, par three and executive courses.  It is not a promising goal, but good exercise and a bit of fun.  The last two times I went out I scored a scorching 10 on the first hole.

I got sucked in by some click bait that revealed the five things that the elderly do that drive people away.  Most of it I was already aware of.  One of the temptations we get as we get older is to ignore hygiene.  Why shave and shower if you are going no place?  I think the idea is that shaving is a bit of rebellion against the decline of life.  

The battle continues.  Once you lose ground it is very difficult to gain it back.  Ultimately the end will come but I can work to make it as dignified as possible.  So I keep walking, practicing and pushing my limits even if they are not impressive to you young squirts.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-024: Stay One Step Ahead

Somewhere I remember a great sage making the comment that we started dying the day we were born.  At the time it seemed to make some sense but I’m here to question that today.

Death can be many things.  If you go back to the garden of Eden, death means separation from God and His plan, an eventual decay and end to the physical body.  It did not mean “die right now”.  If they had been more obedienct we might have no nursing homes today.

But how did someone say that we start dying when we’re born?  I think his intent was spot on, but he missed his starting date.  I would suggest that the human body starts dying when it reaches the point of being developed.  It’s possible that different parts of the body might start decaying quicker than other parts.  What is the last system in your body to reach maturity?  I have no idea.  Perhaps some doctor could tell you.  But let’s just say that your sense of coordination develops much later than your taste buds.  I am still waiting.  That would mean that your taste buds, once fully developed, would start dying off while you might get more and more coordinated every day.  We know the taste buds start dying.  It’s just one indication that there is a limit to how long things will last.

I would suggest that the time we start dying is going to vary with each individual.  It could be as early as your teens and it could be as late as your mid 20s, but the day does come when the tide turns.  Being old and being well passed that turning point, I can almost feel things shutting down.

How do we respond to that?  On one point you just accept what is reality.  If my heart wears out, it wears out.  A lot of people think that drugs or exercise or a positive attitude can make it last longer.  Maybe so.  Probably not.  But at another point there are things that we can do.  We can work on exercising and stretching.  We can do things to keep as fit as possible.  We can put off the day where everything comes to a close.

The same with our minds.  I don’t know how predestined such things as dementia or Alzheimer’s are, but my guess is that if we are keeping our minds active and constantly challenged the onset of those problems will be held at arms length.  I may be totally wrong, but I’m going to go forward with that hypothesis.

What strengthens our muscles?  Movement and resistance.  I’m sure diet might have something to do with it but if you sit in a chair all day it probably doesn’t matter what you eat or how good an attitude you have.  My suggestion is that we each need to find a challenge in life and work over overcome it.  For those of you who are believers, that might mean a more intensive study of the word and getting involved in some serious conversations about what things mean.  For those who are not believers, it might mean studying the Constitution or taking a class in law.  It might mean becoming a philosopher and sitting around the coffee shop and expounding your ideas, of course, with the understanding that this will generate argument and conversation.  All of this will stimulate what we call our mind.

Sitting in the dark on my porch, I am enthused about the future.  I’m getting old.  If I’m too feeble to get to the mirror for evidence, then all I have to do is hold out my arm and look at the wrinkles.  I can still be enthused about the future.  Somebody once said they would rather wear out than rust out.  Plug your brain in.  Get it active.  Get out of your chair and walk somewhere besides the refrigerator.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-561: Advent Calendar: Day 8, Well Stricken

Put yourself in Elizabeth’s shoes.  She is well beyond the age of child bearing.  She has been denied the joy, and the pain.  An angel appears to her husband and says now is the time.  I like his response.

(Luk 1:18 KJV)  And Zacharias said unto the angel, Whereby shall I know this? for I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years.

How many years does it take to become “well stricken”?  We are not told because we don’t need to know.  Accept the fact that it was a miracle.  Elizabeth was at the age where women should not have babies.  Remember that Sarah was the same way.  

Do you feel that you are “well striken”?  Do you feel like you are beyond the age of being useful, at least in your eyes or the eyes of those around you?  Keep in mind that God may not be looking at you with the same eyes.  I am at an age where I don’t do any long range planning.  The caution I keep reminding myself of is that I still need to be flexible enough for the Lord to use me in his plans.  He runs on a different time line that I do.

Rejoice and have a merry Christmas.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-527: Adjustments

As I was putting on my shoes this morning I noticed the techniques that I had developed so that my old body could take care of all tasks.  Instead of reaching down and working the socks over my toes and up over my ankles in one smooth pull, I found that I got my toes into them, scrunched my foot down, grabbed the top and pulled the sock up in little increments.  I have the same types of things when I’m getting dressed with other items of my wardrobe.  I have adapted to my aging body, my stiffening joints, my sometimes questionable balance, and just general oldness.

I thought came to me what a trauma it would be if someone could take my 18 year-old mind And put it into my 78-year-old body.  I’m not sure that I could adjust.  If I did, it would take a bit of time.  When you’re used to standing on one leg with no problem to put your pants on suddenly if you were put in a position where standing on one leg had a tendency to make you sitting on one floor you have to adjust.

How many things in life have we adjusted to over the years?  I guess that’s one reason why we don’t get old immediately.  It takes time to learn all the little intricate maneuvers that make up for loss of youthful vigor.  I would imagine what goes for our physical bodies also goes for our mental capacities except I think that in many ways the experiences of life tend to add wisdom and understanding that make up for the fatigue.  We may fall asleep earlier, but we make more progress on thinking big thoughts than we could when we were younger.

I think that may be part of the reason why young people tend to be more liberal and older people more conservative.  Those of us who have reached beyond retirement age have enough experience to know that certain things just don’t work.  Doesn’t matter how much you wish or how hard you try, it’s not going to work.  Unfortunately, those lessons seem to be the kinds of things that we can only learn by experience.  I remember when I was working in the preschool Sunday school class.  A young man would come in the door, about three years old, run across the room yelling “Spider-Man” and throw himself against the wall.  My memory may be faulty, but I don’t think he ever stuck.  I’m not sure if he ever learned either.  Unfortunately that’s how some people are.

Rejoicing where you are in life.  Each step has its advantages.  Meanwhile, I need to put on my shoes.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-506: I Love Being an Old Man

Recently I had the experience of a wheel collapsing under the front of my car as I was driving down the street.  God had His hand on me because it happened on a four lane road with enough room for me to get off on the side.  It was inconvenient.  It’s going to cost a bit of money.  But all in all, I am grateful that my guardian angel was able to hold the wheel in place until I got in a safe spot for it to fall off.  It could have happened when I was driving 60 miles an hour on curvy country roads going to church.  It could have collapsed at 70 miles an hour driving on the interstate to go to the local outlet mall.  Both of those took place within a few days.  But instead, the guardian angel decided that here, in the middle of town, was the place where it should happen.

Here’s where it gets interesting and the benefits of age start kicking in.  Remember the days when you would have a flat tire and you would call your dad?  Remember the days when you had your car engine blow up and you had to borrow money from your parents to get it fixed?  I trust you paid them back.  Remember the time where you had to borrow a car from your parents because you had to get someplace and yours wasn’t working.  Well, it all comes back to you later on.  You see my son came to pick me up as the tow truck left and handed me the keys to his car, had me drop him off at his house, and I now have the use of his car.  It is a second car that he hasn’t sold yet, but it certainly comes in handy.

So instead of me loaning him my car because he was in trouble, he loaned me his car.  It’s a great place to be in life.  The blessings just keep coming

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-503: Dementia Club

I’m thinking that it might be time to start a new club.  We could make it a secret society with handshakes and subtle logos.  The main problem with the secret part is that this club is for people who are getting up to the age where dementia starts to sit in.  Yes I’m talking to me there.  Don’t look the other way.

Let’s face it.  We reach a certain point where we lose a lot of our edge.  All through life you have a hard time remembering names, getting the right word, forgetting to pick up eggs at the grocery store and so forth.  That’s a part of life, however, there comes a time in life when it seems to begin to multiply.  We can respond to this in different ways.

I’m suggesting that perhaps we start a secret club for people over 60.  We have a pledge to each other that we will constantly keep checking to see how far down the slide we’ve gone.  What brought this to mine was a recent conversation with a man who said, “I’m 84 years old and I think I’m still doing OK.  My mind seems alert.”  At that point, we both said together, “As far as you can tell.”  That’s a standard joke with us when we get to a certain age.  I will often say I think my mind is still working at least as far as I can tell.  I then often add I’ll be the last one to know when I lose it.

So this club will be there to help us find out when we’re losing it.  I think of the group of zoom guys I’m on with each week.  We are all at different levels of decay.  The guy who leads the group is starting to have more and more trouble with words and names.  Often I can come up with them.  That is to say I can come up with them for him, I’m not sure I can come up with them for myself.  So we correct each other, fill in the blanks, have a good laugh and head on down the slide.

The main problem with this secret club with its secret handshakes and such is that we may forget what the handshake is and we may even forget that we’re a member of the club.

It was a good idea while it lasted.  I wonder how many times I have already brought it up.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-413: Publishing Deadline

When old people keep telling you the same stories over and over again you need to understand that this is not repetition.  This is editing for publication.  Each time they tell the story it gets better.

Appreciate their efforts to improve, or should I say our efforts.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-411: Ode to Old: Carpal Tunnel Thinking

I have not suffered from this physical handicap.  I have not lost the use of my hands, but my wife has gone through it on both arms.  I’m not aware of the recent research.  I’m not aware of all of the nuances.  In the back of my mind, there is the theory that the condition is brought on by repetitive motion.  The best example would be someone who is a professional typist or secretary, who is moving his arms and hands in a certain way again and again and again and over time things develop problems.

Going with that thought I wonder if some of our thinking is crippled by the same type of actions and habits.  Where our minds work in the same path day after day, with no variation or flexibility, I wonder if we don’t lose the ability to think gracefully and freely.  When my wife was at her worst, she was still able to do the basic tasks that were necessary.  I don’t know how much pain that really involved or whether it was just a stiffness.  It kept her from doing her best.

If the theory is correct that a major problem is repetitive motion, and we apply that to our mental ability, then it would say that we need to find ways to exercise our minds in new ways.  I’m not calling for different values or even different opinions, but I am calling for us to read more widely, to listen more attentively, and work on our reasoning skills as we interact with people from other backgrounds and philosophies.

I’m reaching that age when people start to decline not only physically but mentally.  I see it in friends.  I saw it watching a video when a reputable scholar who has written many books and still can think outside the box was having a hard time completing sentences or finishing a thought.

It happens.

Someone once said that one way to keep your mind active is to develop new skills.  Start learning a new musical instrument.  Learn to type if you never have.  Anything that requires you to stretch can keep your mind flexible according to that theory.

I’m willing to go with that until something better comes along.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-371: Ode to Old: Broadway Joe

You know you’re getting old when you see Joe Namath advertising hearing aids instead of nylon stockings.  I remember from years ago where he posed wearing stockings.  I don’t know if he was actually advertising for them or what.  At that point he was supposed to be one of the sexy men of America and so I’m sure they were using sex to sell something.

Not so much anymore.  I never thought Namath was particularly good looking, but whatever he may have had has been lost in the process of time.  Now he looks like me.  Now he needs a hearing aid.  It will come to all of us eventually.

The icons of the past become the has beens of the present and the forgotten of the future.  Of course some of us never were, are not and never will be.  I am good with that.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-313: The Falls of Summer

At church there was another prayer request for someone who had fallen.  Cracked bones, possible bleeding in the cranium,  bruises and an abused body.  It sounds like in this case she will be able to soldier on, but I’m thinking of others recently.  Sometimes the falls are because people my age are climbing ladders that they shouldn’t be climbing.  Sometimes it’s because they’re not paying attention.  I wonder how often it’s because we’re doing stupid things.  I know my most recent fall was when I was taking the trash down the driveway and trying to shortcut the process.  I ended up sprawled by the side of the driveway on the grass.  This is when I get thankful for my guardian angels.

This last fall could’ve caused major damage.  I could’ve caught my leg between things and broken a bone.  I could’ve fallen on the concrete and who knows what the results would be.  I could’ve landed on top of one of the rocks imbedded in my yard.  I was even close to a piece of rebar which could’ve punctured me.  Instead, I had a soft landing on the grass.  I felt it for a couple weeks, but life goes on with no major hiccups.

I think of the last few times I’ve gone down.  For me it’s usually that I’m just not paying attention or I’m doing something stupid.  The time before this was when I was walking quickly through the house with no lights on in the middle of the night.  Somebody moved a piece of furniture.  I’m not pointing any fingers, but can you spell grandchildren?  Anyway, I should not have been cruising in the dark.  I should’ve been carefully feeling my way or turning on the light.  I rank this one to stupidity.

What I’m always grateful for are those guardian angels that seem to keep a hand on me.  I try to make it a regular practice to thank them for being there even though I don’t know how many there are.  I’m still thinking of putting out milk and cookies for them but I don’t know if guardian angels like milk and cookies.  I will find out in eternity.

Walk carefully.  Don’t daydream, at least while on the move.  Don’t walk quickly in the dark house.  Make two trips with the trash rather than one.  Above all ask God to make sure that your guardian angels are sharp and on the task.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-218: Thinking about It

As I get older the question of dementia and losing contact becomes more of an issue.  One of the questions that occurred to me this morning was do people who tend to be skeptical have less deterioration in their mental ability than those who are optimistic.  I reiterate that there is a difference between cynic and skeptic.  

A cynic is not a deep thinker by nature.  He assumes that the worst will happen, that motives are evil and that results will damage.  A skeptic on the other hand knows that things could go wrong and seeks to find ways to correct that.  They are cautious of the motives of others and themselves.  It is not an easy road to walk but keeps you thinking because there are no easy answers.

I think there’s evidence that those who finds things to stimulate them go downhill slower and I just wonder if optimistic people are less inclined to think deeply because they do not have the same concerns.  

Of course that’s rather self-centered.

homo unius libri