Opus 2026-334: Nexus

I’m thinking that we need to start a series of meditation centers around the country.  Have you ever seen someone trip or stumble and they turn around and stare at the spot where they tripped as if they’re going to see something significant.  They have a puzzle look.  Some might be angry.  We could set up cameras and see if we could locate certain spots around the country where this event happened over and over again.

If, on investigation, we found that people were tripping because there was a raised crack in the sidewalk, we could fix it.  Or we could just leave it there and set up a candid camera to watch people trip.  If we found that there was no visible reason for this phenomenon and people kept tripping in the same spot, then it’s time to take action.

At that point we would begin to set up small monuments to honor the nymph or gremlin that was causing people to trip.  Perhaps we could make them look like wishing well.  And at these spots, people could come and throw in a few coins and think a few positive thoughts toward whatever it was at that spot that was causing people to trip.  Not only with this honor the little spooks that are playing games, but it might also keep people from falling down in public.

If the republicans are in charge, we could have local teams of volunteers to maintain these spots.  They could collect any money, dropped into the slot and channel it to the local charity.  If the Democrats are in charge, then we will probably need a federal czar, who will be in charge of a large team of federal employees to make sure that each of the points of meditation is maintained at federal standards.  Any money that was donated with mysteriously disappear.

Maybe this could be a campaign issue in 2028.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-291: How Big a Temptation?

Most Christians are familiar with Satan taking Jesus up on a mountain top and tempting Him with all kinds of things in order to get Him to compromise.  He held out.  He set the example for us.

However, I am wondering if He was ever tempted to create a bubble of air-conditioning around Himself.  He could have done it without anybody else noticing.  After all, He didn’t need compressors or anything like that.  He could have just temporarily changed the laws of physics.  I know I would’ve been tempted, knowing that someday air-conditioning would be invented and be available even to the common people.  I would have thought “Why not get started early?”

Just another reason why I am not Jesus.  

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-269: Dream Heresy?

Do we have the right to make demands of God?  It is an interesting question that emerges from my dreams last night.  I often have vague memories of dreams that gradually lose their coherence as a wake up.  I don’t know if you have had that experience but things seem so logical and reasonable when I am asleep but don’t make any sense when I am awake.

Last night I was in an existence that had God experimenting with creation.  There was nothing ghastly or terrifying going on.  It was just that there seemed to be a gradual change in memories and beginnings.  At the end there was a stability and I remember wondering if we could make demands of God.

Strange.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-141: Chicken Washing

Is chicken washing a thing or is it just something my grandchildren came up with?

My impression is that chickens are rather unclean as a whole.  I don’t know that taking a hose to them would make any difference to the bugs that are under their feathers, or do they eat all the bugs that bug them?

If I heard correctly the responsible adults in their lives have banned future chicken washing.  I guess that should answer my initial question.  Maybe that would be a good platform for the Republican party in the next general election.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-126: When Will I Go Viral?

That’s easy to answer.  Never.

There are many reasons for that starting with the fact that it may very well be that nothing I ever write is good enough to go viral.  That is a minor reason because I have read and listen to some of the things that do spread across the internet and I’m generally not impressed with much of it.  But you can’t ignore that that’s one of the problems.

I am also too lazy to achieve such notoriety.  Most of the people who started out blogging and wanted to make a splash moved on to other platforms when Blogger started declining in popularity.  It takes work to get well known.  That involves learning new technologies and switching to what is popular.  Not only am I not interested in seeing pictures of people’s lunch, I don’t want to learn how to tweet or whatever it is called now.

I also am too straightforward.  I remember when I was first starting out that one blogger was working overtime to get his numbers up.  You would find him in the comment section of almost every blog with a comment and an invitation to follow him.  It worked for him at first but I don’t know if he ever offered any content.  There is a certain salesman personality that gets out and makes the sale.  More power to them.

Fame and fortune are on the same path and I never seem to be interested in following it.  If that is your plan then good luck.

homo unius libri

Opus 2026-069: The Jinx of the Book

There are a number of things that take the place of superstitious mementos in our lives.  I have a few.  One of them is a book.  Any book will do.  I found that if I travel somewhere and do not take a book along to read that almost invariably I end up sitting staring at a wall.  Once I got so desperate, I was reading People magazine.

I accepted it as superstition and nonsense.  At the same time, it seems to work out that way.  I don’t get stranded unless I don’t have a book.

Then there are the times I want to do something at the next red light.  Guess what?  Life is lived in the green lane.  I balance the frustration with rapid progress.  If I am going to have a flat tire it always seems to be raining.  If I am going to have a breakdown it hits when I left my phone at home.  I am sure you have your own list.

In my intellect I know this is nonsense.  I still take a book with me everywhere I go.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-526: Wig Check

There are so many things that are none of our business and yet it would be kind of fun to learn about.  This morning, as I was in my wake up stupor, it came to mind that I could be interested in knowing how many people were wearing wigs.  It is none of my business.  It has no advantage to me or anyone else to be in possession of this knowledge.  It’s still interesting.

When I was a kid, the only people wearing wigs would be women.  My mother-in-law had a story of driving down the highway with her window down and the wind turbulence from a big truck going the other way pulled her wig off and it went bouncing down the road.  Good times, but nowadays there are so many men who are self-conscious about their hairline that I think a lot of them are indulging.  Then you have the comb-overs which get really ridiculous and you have guys who have hair stylist to make it look like they have hair.

That is a wonderful thing. Sometimes I guess it just makes you look better.  At the times, it’s a vain hope.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-421: The Big Sneeze

I sometimes think God keeps me around just to see what kind of ridiculous connections I make in my semiconscious mind.

This morning out on the porch, I found myself having the need to sneeze.  It was a resounding effort, followed by aftershocks.  My mind entered sacrilegious mode, and I asked myself, “I wonder if God ever sneezes?”  When we come across anthropomorphism of God, we hear about His hands and His feet and such.  When the creativity really gets going, we talks about God‘s feathers.  So maybe it’s not sacreligious to wonder if God has a nose and sneezes.

I know this is ridiculous.  Somehow, I think that God could clear his cosmic nasal passages a better way.  I also don’t really believe that God has a nose or need to sneeze, just to be clear.  This is just the way my mind works in the dark morning.  Sometimes it works that way in the light of day.

That took me to wondering about the Big Bang.  Wouldn’t it be amusing to get up into heaven and find out that the Big Bang really happened, but it was just God sneezing.  Think about how the matter of the universe was supposed to have spread faster than the speed of light.  Think of how all the laws of physics have to be pretty much defy in order for the Big Bang to happen.

Don’t bother following me on Facebook.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-406: What If?

What if Israel had accepted Jesus as their Messiah?

How would the story have been modified?  Would He still have needed to die?

I’m thinking that certain elements were necessary in order for Jesus to be the perfect Lamb of God and to be the Messiah that was promised.  His death was necessary because the perfect Lamb of God had to die as the perfect sacrifice.  It was also necessary because the resurrection was to be the final promise of God’s salvation.

How would this have worked out?

I’m guessing that if the Jews had responded in the way God intended then the Romans would’ve still gone ahead and executed Jesus on some other charge.  They had no place for a rival king.  This of course would create a scene similar to the upper room after the crucifixion, but it would be broader and farther reaching.  And then, of course, when His resurrection took place, we don’t know how that would play out, but I have this feeling that there would be this awesome time of evangelism as the story and the claim of the Messiah spread to Jews, all around the world, and because God is the God of all people the transition to the Gentiles would also take place.

Talk about a wild and crazy theory.  I think I have too much time on my hands.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-317: A Question of Power

My grandson came roaring into the room wearing a mask and a cape while he waved a sword around.  I can’t remember if he was Bible Man or Zorro but he was some kind of super hero.  I was impressed with his imagination and enthusiasm but not so much with his wisdom.  He came in thinking he would win.  I let him think that for awhile but eventually the truth came out.

Grandpa powers trump super-powers.

That is hard for a child to understand.  In a way it is hard for adults to understand.  It still remains true.

We won’t discuss grandma powers.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-165: New Laws: What about the Cat?

If you have been in to see any medical professional recently, they probably have been asking you questions which the federal government feels are necessary to be asked.  When I went into the ER recently, they wanted to know if I could prepare my own meals.  They wanted to know if I could drive myself to my own appointments. They want to know if I felt insecure in my home.  They asked me about rugs.

How come they asked me about rugs, but never asked me if I have a cat?  Yes, rugs can be a problem, but at least they stay put and you have to trip over them as you walk down the hall.  Cats have a very annoying habit of appearing out of nowhere and inserting themselves into the most awkward places as you try to make any kind of move.  I’ve gotten much closer to falling from my wife’s cat then I have from throw rugs.

Maybe we need a new federal regulation from some mysterious agency requiring them to ask us about whether we have cats in the home.  It might require training the cats by federally licenced professionals to not trip people and a government certificate to show we have complied.  I feel free to share this because I doubt if any Democrats ever read anything I write.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-157: A Dog’s Life

Does a dog have taste buds?  I could probably re-search this on the internet, but I would get something from the AI that I am not interested in.  So let’s go with observation.

Dogs gulp their food.  It’s a wonder they don’t choke.  I’ve never seen a dog stop a moment and look off into the sunset to savor the moment of flavor.  Dogs do lick but I think that involves mainly salt.  I wonder if they have teeth in their stomach to grind up the chunks that go down the hatch.

Just a thought, not a focus.  I will not lose any sleep over this.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-116: Kitty Joy

The other day we were out in the backyard amusing our grandson.  My wife was also looking for her cat.  She still has this idea that she can control the cat and make sure that it is where it’s supposed to be.  Eventually it came out and follwed her around a little bit and she was happy, until she watched the cat for a while.

The cat found a bit of open ground and decided that he would bring great joy to his feline heart if he rolled in the dust.  He had a great time rolling back-and-forth, back-and-forth.  He was a real dusty muffin by the time you got through.  I thought it looked like he was having a lot of fun.  She was horrified that her precious kitty was so dirty.

This illustrates one of those great differences between men and women, or at least between my wife and I.  All she could see, was the dirt on the cat.  What I saw was an animal reveling in life.

We are all different.  Some are more different than others.  Some of the biggest differences are between men and women.  I wonder what would happen if I went and rolled in the dust.  On second thought, I might not live to post about the experience.  If you never hear from me again you can assume I succumbed to temptation.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-079: Cat I.Q.

My wife and I just had a discussion of the cat’s intelligence, or lack thereof.  It was initiated because she could hear the cat making a noise that she interpreted as wanting to come in.  I did not argue with that level of smarts.  We eventually figured out which door needed to be opened.  I was informed that the cat was smart.

A thought occurred to me that I cannot share in this house.  I realized that I think the cat is stupid because I compare it to myself.  That is as far as I will go even in print.  I will leave it to you to figure out the rest.

So often in life our opinion of others is rooted in our opinion of ourselves.

homo unius libri

Opus 2025-045: You Are Welcome

It occurred to me as I was driving to do some shopping Saturday and saw that the price of gas had gone down seven cents a gallon that I did the entire country a service by filling up two days ago.  It seems in my life that when I do some thing like filling up with gas, the next day the price goes down.  It is awesome to see how my butterfly wings can cause a typhoon in the South Pacific, or wherever typhoons happen.

I will do my best to stay out of your lane on the interstate and your line at the grocery store.

You are welcome.  It’s the least I can do for my fellow citizens.

homo unius libri

Opus 2024-032: Parallels

As we were driving to dinner my son was sharing with me one of the great insights into the Star Trek world.  He said in the original series there were no bathrooms.  To be honest this is some thing that I had never noticed, would have never noticed, and certainly don’t think needed to be noticed.  But evidently it’s still true, because they added them in later series.

This morning sitting on the porch, it occurred to me that we don’t seem to have a lot of reference to sanitary facilities in the Bible either.  The only place that comes to mind is only found in modern translations.  The first place I saw it was in the Living Bible.  Here it is in the CEV.

(1Ki 18:27 CEV) At noon, Elijah began making fun of them. "Pray louder!" he said. "Baal must be a god. Maybe he's day-dreaming or using the toilet or traveling somewhere. Or maybe he's asleep, and you have to wake him up."

I can’t think of any major Bible personality that is explained as having gone to the bathroom.  Is there a theological significance to that?  I doubt it.  It’s still a fact.

homo unius libri

Opus 2024-417: The Meeting of the Mutts

I watched in anticipation. In the dark from the left came the jogging lighted vest.  She comes by every morning about this time and recently has begun demonstrating that she is also a jogger, not just a dog walker.  On the right came the rattle of the gate opening to our neighbors estate, and a flashlight, accompanied by the bark of a small dog.  I waited for them to meet in the street.  It brings new meaning to the concept of “meet and greet”.  The dogs would sniff rears.  I wanted to see how the two women would greet each other.

I was to be disappointed.  It seems that the lady with the vest is not an extrovert.  She did not treasure the idea of having a morning conversation in the dark.  She turned and started jogging in the opposite direction.

Texas mornings are full of excitement.  Yes, I do have a life.

homo unius libri

Opus 2024-392: Does God Use Chopsticks?

I was daydreaming about God running in the universe.  I had Him punching buttons and sliding levers, turning dials and using a touchscreen maybe.  In the midst of this silly little fantasy, I had the realization that God doesn’t need to do any of that stuff.  He created the universe just by saying, “Let there be....”

Does God do some things a certain way simply because He enjoys doing it that way?  I submit to you chopsticks.  When we go to a Chinese restaurant I always ask for a set of chopsticks.  I know how to eat with a fork but somehow it just seems to me that Chinese food taste better when you eat it with chopsticks.  I know it’s probably just my imagination, but there’s a sense of satisfaction of doing it the old fashion way.

There are other things that we do the old fashion way simply because it’s more satisfying that way.  I’m sure there are parts of woodworking that could be done much faster with modern technology, but there’s something about the old carving tools that bring a sense of personal involvement.  Reading a high-quality, leather-bound book is more satisfying than a Kindle.  A four speed manual transmission brings more joy than an automatic.  I wonder if God doesn’t have that same phenomenon, after all we were created in His image.  Sometimes the quickest is not the most satisfying.  Since God has all of eternity to work and He is not running out of time, He’s in no hurry.

This might fit in with the concept of creation actually taking billions of years as God enjoyed watching the process.  He probably finds more beauty in a giant Sequoia than crab-grass.  It might have to do with why it takes so long for us to grow up and become mature adults.  It might have to do with why we raise children for decades, rather than have them coming out of the room ready to stand up and run.

If God wants dials, buttons, touch screens and sliders, He has my approval.  Yes, I know He doesn’t need my approval.  He has it anyway.

homo unius libri

Opus 2024-321: Redwing Days

These are the days when you can roll down the window and hang your arm out.  I would call them Redneck Days but in celebration of one sunburned arm I will call them Redwing Days.  Of course by noon it is getting hot enough to roll up the window and turn on the A/C.  I am not sure if that just means I am flexible and respond to circumstances or I am a wussie.

homo unius libri

Opus 2024-281: Memorial Haircuts

I hate getting haircuts.  It goes back to my childhood.  Isn’t it fun all the things we can blame on our parents and our childhood.  My father used to take his four boys to the barber college.  The good barbers were up front by the windows.  The beginners were in the back, working in the shadows.  We would sit on the bench and there would come to voice calling, “Next”.  If the voice came from the front, Father would get up and go.  If it came from the back, he would send whoever was at the front of the line.  That gave him five shots at a good barber.  I have never recovered from that.

In an attempt to make getting a haircut something more palatable, I am thinking of dedicating each haircut to a specific person in memory.  Of course, the person wouldn’t necessarily have to be dead, but may have just gone through a crisis.  For instance, one of the men in our church recently had open heart surgery.  My next haircut I could dedicate to him and name of the “name redacted” Memorial Haircut.  I’m sure he would be honored.

People would be standing in line to be the next one to be remembered.  If I ran out of living victims, I could go back to the past and bring up relatives, historical figures, even people that I despise.  That group would be reserved for the bad haircuts.  I could get a big medallion to wear with a slot to insert their name or a hat with a place to attach the picture of the person being honored.  This could really go somewhere.

That reminds me, I need a haircut.

homo unius libri