“Specifically, officials in Ethiopia brought the fossilized bones of Lucy (Australopithecus afarensis) to their national palace for Barack Obama (Halfricanus offensivus) to poke and prod with his booger-hunting finger, which should lead to some pretty confusing DNA analysis in the future.”It seems that the smartest president we have ever had doesn’t understand that there are certain things you are not supposed to touch. Sure they put them out without glass over them. They made the mistake of thinking he knew better. They made the mistake of thinking he cared. They made the mistake of expecting him to have the decency to keep his greasy fingers off the unique specimens.
It seems that his goal of fundamentally remaking the United States into a socialist paradise extends to fundamentally remaking what anthropologists learn from old bones and fossils. The validity of ancient specimens can be compromised by the oil in our skin and even the air we exhale. Many mistakes in dating remains have been made simply because someone was smoking in the area.
Send the man back to grade school and put the signs back up that say, “Please do not touch. This means you.”
homo unius libri