Opus 2015-372: As Goes Wobegon...

As school moves through the first few weeks I am getting to know my classes.  The administration likes to give a few tests, ask a few questions, talk to their PR guy, hold their wet fingers in the wind and then they establish classes at different levels.  I have five classes.  Two of them are labeled “gifted” or “gate” and one is above that and labeled “advanced”.  That means that my leaders consider 60% of my students to be above average.  Really?  This at a school where few of the children are reading at grade level and as I said, not one of my students had any idea where the Mississippi River was located.  Our school is in the bottom quartile in the country.  And 60% of my children are above average?  I guess we are trying to catch up with Lake Wobegon where it is 100%.

When I was in junior high we had a section of track in PE.  One of the things they tried to get all of us to do was the high jump.  There are a number of ways you can increase the number of people going over the bar.  You can lay it on the ground.  You can build a ramp.  You can call it rigorous.  You can lie through your teeth.

I have a lot of great kids.  So far the knuckleheads are still controlling themselves.  I hope to make a contribution to their future.  It won’t be because someone put a label of “gifted” on them but because they choose to overcome in spite of that label.  It will be from work and focus instead of acting like it is an automatic guarantee.

homo unius libri

Opus 2015-371: On the Street: Diversity on Wheels

As I was leaving the parking lot after my morning repast, I followed a truck with announcements of it’s product line.  It boldly announced it offered “gourmet coffee” and “toner cartridges”.  I hope they were not on the same kiosk.  I am not sure I would want to get my morning coffee from a company that specialized in printer ink.

homo unius libri

Opus 2015-370: Discernment Watch: Slight of Hand Labels

I had the radio on to the Glen Beck program until I could get my I-Pod going without causing an accident.  I-Poding can be as dangerous as texting while driving.

They were playing sound bites from Trump’s appearance at the Iowa meeting from previous weeks.  I think I wrote about it before.  The question was about whether he had ever asked God for forgiveness and he went off on a praise moment for Norman Vincent Peale.  It was pretty obvious that either he did not understand the question or he was trying to avoid it.

What Beck and his sidekicks were getting at was that Trump had no idea what Christianity was all about.  They felt it was a deliberate attempt to sound religious when he isn’t.  They felt like it was pandering to the Christians in the crowd.

First, I think it was obvious to anyone with a real faith in Jesus that Donald Trump is not a Christian.  He might have actually gone to church.  He may have really enjoyed the sermons of Peale.  He might even try to do good.  But he clearly is not a Christian.  There are certain clear indicators of being a Christian or not.  People who reject the clear teachings of the Bible on the physical resurrection, eternal damnation, sexual morality and marriage my call themselves Christians but they are practicing what Orwell calls “newspeak” or the post moderns call “deconstruction”.  It is like me calling myself a great golfer.  I may have the clubs, I may have the shirt, I might have the money but I don’t have the swing.

Second, it is amusing to hear Mormons accusing Trump of deception when he calls himself a Christian.  Mormons are not Christians.  They may be wonderful neighbors, fine employees, great parents and patriots, but they are a cult, not a denomination.

As I have said, I don’t like Trump for president but I am enjoying his contribution to the season.  He is forcing issues that need to be addressed.  He is openly declaring that the King has no clothes.  For that I thank him and give him credit.  But he is not a Christian.  On that score I just smile and shake my head and wonder how many gullible people there are.  I want to thank him but I don’t want to vote for him for reasons that have nothing to do with being a Christian.

homo unius libri

Opus 2015-369: The Prince Has Moved to Manila

When I arrived at school and checked my e-mail I was surprised to learn that the parents of one of my students were stranded in Manila and needed me to send them money ASAP so they could get home.  Why was I suspicious?

First, I had seen the parent on Friday and the e-mail was dated on Saturday.  Not being geographically challenged and having done more traveling than LA to Las Vegas, it seemed unlikely that she could have gotten to Manila in time to send the message.

Second, the lady who supposedly sent the message is pretty sharp.  The e-mail said that she had lost her money and credit cards because the airlines had lost her luggage.  How many people who can figure out which bathroom to use would put their money and credit cards in their check-in luggage?

So it seems the Prince of Nigeria that had a fortune for us has moved to Manila, or Virginia, which is where she told me the hacker had been traced to.

If you get such an e-mail and are tempted, I would ask you to send me the money instead and trust me to forward it to them.

homo unius libri

Opus 2015-368: Both

How often do we ask people questions which are to be answered “yes” or “no,” when a definite answer is needed and they hedge their answers with “both.”  Or how about when you really want to know what they want for dinner and they say, “I don’t care”.  You know they do.  I think the hardest people to please are the ones who say they don’t care. 

Sometimes it does not make any difference.  If you were to ask me how I wanted my liver cooked I would say, “I don’t care.”  I don’t.  I hate liver.  There is no way it can be cooked that changes it from an organ that filters toxins out of the body.  That is what it tastes like and that is what it smells like.  My response is not because I don’t care.  It is because you asked the wrong question.

But say we are discussing freedom of speech and I am trying to get them involved.  I might ask them if they think four letter words should be allowed at school.  When I poll the class try to get  them to write a paragraph I get blank stares.  Someone always wants to write two paragraphs.

Many times this is simply a refusal to take a stand.  That can be because they really have no opinion or it could be they are afraid of criticism.  It could also be a problem of ignorance.

We have an election coming.  We need to be listening carefully to see when the different candidates are taking a stand and when they are blowing smoke.  When they are asked about illegal immigration, women in combat, aborting babies to sell body parts, transfer of wealth and socialized medicine the answer cannot be “both.”

homo unius libri

Opus 2015-267: Cards Anyone?

I was listening to Alastair Begg and he used the term “playing the poor card.”  He was referring to his childhood where kids would act like they were poor in order to get sympathy or special treatment.  It is the way some of us are wired.  I know that at school the kids are are always playing the race card.  What that means is that when they are sitting, doing no work and disrupting the class any you tell them to be quiet and get to work they respond with, “It’s because I am black.” 

What kind of ways do we try to manipulate others?

The “health card” is always a good way to manipulate.  Many people have no visible signs of pain and suffering but they are quick to tell you about them.  How many times have you seen people pull into a handicap slot, hang the placard on the mirror and walk briskly away?  I understand that some people have high pain tolerance or are good at covering up their infirmities.  Others demand concessions because they have a minor pain.  Since it is hard for the observers to know, it is an effective way to manipulate. 

I always like when people play the teacher card on me since I am a teacher.  Have you ever heard teachers complain about being underpaid?  In my district new teachers start at around $44,000 a year.  How many of you could start at that rate?  Oh, did I forget to mention that they also get all summer off, two to three weeks off at Christmas and up to a week off at Thanksgiving?  Did I mention that after a couple of years they have awesome job security and regular pay raises no matter what kind of job they do?  Did I mention that they get ten paid sick days a year and up to five days paid for jury duty?  My auto mechanic would love that set up and yet it is his taxes that pay my salary.

How about veterans?  My favorite was the time a guy came up to me when we were on vacation in Washington D.C.  He asked for a handout because he was a Vietnam veteran.  What was interesting was that I am also a Vietnam veteran and I was one of the last sent over and he was much younger than me.  I was mystified at how he could have been there.  Or the guy who wants to wash my windows at a certain grocery store.  I am supposed to pay him because he was in Vietnam.  So was I.  Get a job, bro.

The “elderly card” is also useful.  I can testify to that.  Sometimes others play it for me.  I try to be gracious and not let it weaken me.  I need to be as active and self reliant as I can be.  At the same time when my wife wants heavy furniture moved I am finding that I am really too old for that kind of thing.

What kind of cards do you play?  Which kind irritate you the most?

When a noisy child plays the race card I refuse to be manipulated.  I respond with, “No, its because you are noisy.  Why are you being racist?”  They usually get flustered and ask “How is that racist?”  I go into a rant on how they are assuming that being black means being noisy and that sound like they hate black people.  It gets some amusing results.

Refuse to be manipulated.

homo unius libri

Opus 2015-266: On the Street: Greetings from the Throne

I was in the men’s room taking care of some business when this disembodied voice said, “Hello, how are you?”  Whaaaaat?

I appeared to be alone but as I left I noticed a stall that I had not seen.  It seems that the occupant was multitasking.  To each his own but I think I would have a hard time making a phone call when I am on the thrown in a public venue.  I assume he was not talking to the TP dispenser. 

On the positive side, I was not going crazy.  The urinal was not talking to me.

homo unius libri