There’s a statement I’ve made to both of my children and I don’t know who else about my wife and I: “Either one of us is losing it or both are.” I then usually add to it that if I’m the one who’s losing it then I will probably be the last to know.
How do you respond to this situation? I don’t know that we’ll all be in it. My parents were pretty coherent till the end. On my wife’s side there with some issues. But something like this doesn’t necessarily follow the DNA. Sometimes it just happens.
I was asking myself, “If my wife is the one losing it, how should I respond?” What came to mind is I Corinthians 13:4–5. It talks about how love is patient and the KJV puts it well by calling that long suffering. From there you go on to kindness, and the next verse talks about not being provoked and about not keeping a list of wrongs. Seems like a good plan to me. Since there’s very little you can do to cure someone the best you can do is be loving.
What if I’m the one? Same answer. As far as I am able and coherent I should be living those same verses. There’s nothing I can do to cure myself and nothing anyone else can do, but I can keep a good attitude.
As far as the good attitude goes, I have a number of great role models at my church. We have one old guy who every time you would meet him he would tell you had Alzheimer’s and then he would just go merrily on his way having a conversation with you. Every time he couldn’t remember your name, he would remind you that he has Alzheimer’s. He was a happy camper. His wife, of course, worked overtime, but that’s also part of the equation.
There’s another couple, in this case it’s the wife who is having issues. She doesn’t have any kind of classic dementia that I’ve heard of but it seems like she’s fixated at about four years our age and will not get worse or better. It’s a joy to watch her husband deal with her in a gentle and kind manner. It also helps that she seems to be a wonderful person and is aware of her problem and treats us with kindness also.
May your mind be clear and may your loved ones have clear minds. If that doesn’t work out then may you have the right attitude and live in God’s grace.
homo unius libri
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