Opus 2024-281: Memorial Haircuts

I hate getting haircuts.  It goes back to my childhood.  Isn’t it fun all the things we can blame on our parents and our childhood.  My father used to take his four boys to the barber college.  The good barbers were up front by the windows.  The beginners were in the back, working in the shadows.  We would sit on the bench and there would come to voice calling, “Next”.  If the voice came from the front, Father would get up and go.  If it came from the back, he would send whoever was at the front of the line.  That gave him five shots at a good barber.  I have never recovered from that.

In an attempt to make getting a haircut something more palatable, I am thinking of dedicating each haircut to a specific person in memory.  Of course, the person wouldn’t necessarily have to be dead, but may have just gone through a crisis.  For instance, one of the men in our church recently had open heart surgery.  My next haircut I could dedicate to him and name of the “name redacted” Memorial Haircut.  I’m sure he would be honored.

People would be standing in line to be the next one to be remembered.  If I ran out of living victims, I could go back to the past and bring up relatives, historical figures, even people that I despise.  That group would be reserved for the bad haircuts.  I could get a big medallion to wear with a slot to insert their name or a hat with a place to attach the picture of the person being honored.  This could really go somewhere.

That reminds me, I need a haircut.

homo unius libri