Opus 2023-083: Forgive Me

Every once in awhile I say something that is so good that I know I must have heard it somewhere else.  Such was the case when I observed that it is often harder to forgive ourselves than it is to accept God’s forgiveness.  If I stole it from you I apologize.  You have some real wisdom.

I would say it is also easier to forgive others who have wronged us than to forgive ourselves when we are guilty.  Part of the problem is that we see forgiving others as a virtue but when it comes to ourselves it seems a bit selfish and self seeking.

We live under the false impression that we can do away with the harm we did if we work hard enough.  It doesn’t work that way theologically or socially.  I would guess that often in the attempt to do enough good to counter the bad we end up cutting corners and cause more harm in other areas of life.

Forgiveness often depends on a willingness to change.  If someone got mad and punched you in the nose you might forgive them with no problem, the first time.  If they smash you again the next time they see you and ask for forgiveness I am guessing it won’t come as quickly.  Forgiveness in the human sense, or at least for me, would require the person who wronged me to man-up and admit they were out of line.  It would also involve that other aspect of repentance that we don’t like, a change of direction.

We might have trouble forgiving ourselves for two reasons.  The first is we might not think we were out of line in what we did.  We often have hidden beliefs that they deserved what happened.  The second is that we are not willing to change our attitudes, priorities or values.

Whether we are successful or not, forgiveness is an important part of civilized culture.  Refusing to forgive on an individual basis can cause uncomfortable relationships.  As it multiplies and spreads though a larger scope it can break down a lot of the common decencies that make life pleasant and safe.  Theologically it can make salvation out of reach.

Learn to forgive, even if you don’t feel like it.

homo unius libri