Pages

▼

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Opus 2015-409: Let’s Put Ticonderoga out of Business

Why?  Because we care about equality.

Ticonderoga is a brand name for pencils made by Dixon.  Ticonderoga pencils cost more.  Everyone cannot afford them.  This is unfair and discriminatory.  We need a government program to give everyone the right to own the best pencils instead of making do with inferior brands.  I hope you are onboard with this.  If you aren’t then you are a racist, sexist, bigot and possibly a right wing Christian too.

We can go one of two ways.  We could give pencil scholarships to the needy so that they can buy Ticonderoga pencils.  We could establish a Department of School Supplies and have a pencil czar.  Ticonderoga would love this but the other pencil makers would rebel and start sending political contributions to the other side.

It would be better to set a government price control on pencils.  That way no one would need to pay more.  All would be equal.  Of course this would put Ticonderoga out of business.  They could not make and market the high quality pencils at the government price, so hasta la vista, baby.  That’s okay.  It is what their arrogant pencil points deserve.  We must have all pencils equal.  In education we would label it multi-pencilism and have special study units on it in third grade.

Meanwhile, I am going to stock up on Ticonderoga pencils just like I did on light bulbs.

homo unius libri
at

6 comments:

  1. Vincent TonOctober 6, 2015 at 7:17 AM

    I agree that Ticonderoga is going downhill, but not for your extremist reasons. Ever since they started making their pencils in Mexico, things haven't been the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PumiceOctober 7, 2015 at 5:26 AM

      Since I am a poor teacher I can't afford them so I would not have noticed the decline. I am just living in the past I guess. I never thought of pencils as a part of the "rose colored glasses syndrome."

      Grace and peace

      Delete
    2. Vincent TonOctober 7, 2015 at 7:41 AM

      I'll get you a pack for your birthday, if I ever figure out when it is.

      Delete
    3. PumiceOctober 8, 2015 at 5:16 AM

      My birthday is any day you have presents and, of course, presence.

      Grace and peace

      Delete
  2. chipmunkOctober 11, 2015 at 2:46 PM

    I like the idea of a government pencil czar -- or is that a pencil pusher?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PumiceOctober 12, 2015 at 5:22 AM

      It would be appropriate since a pusher leads from behind.

      Grace and peace

      Delete

Comments are welcome. Feel free to agree or disagree but keep it clean, courteous and short. I heard some shorthand on a podcast: TLDR, Too long, didn't read.