Opus 2013-80: Your Tax Dollars at Work: A Hill of Beans

This week there was a timid knock on my class-room door.  When I answered, a young lady handed me a large zip-lock bag.  I looked at it.  I looked at her.  I asked, “What is this?”  She did not know.  As I examined it the light dawned:  The fingers of a federal grant are again sneaking into my classroom. 

The bag was a large, heavy duty, resealable storage bag.  No cheap bag need apply.  This was the heavy duty variety.  As I looked closer I saw that inside the bag were more, smaller bags and a pouch of raw dry beans.  When we have received things like this before they were edible.  I was expected to pass them around, have the students eat them and do a survey of appreciation.  How do you do that with uncooked, unsoaked dry beans?

When all else fails, read the directions.  Evidently I am supposed to pass out the bags and beans, insert a paper towel (not provided), “moderately wet” the towel, tape the bag to the window and watch the miracle of life.  Later we are supposed to keep a record of the growth of the bean.  This is a wonderful experiment which the children already did in elementary school.  Your federal tax dollars are now trying to get them to do it in their history class

Think about this investment in education. 
    Materials: 
        25 small bags and dry beans. 
        One large bag. 
        25 paper towels.
    Labor: 
        Time to purchase the materials
        Time to count out the beans
        Time to count out the bags
        Time to assemble
        Time to type up a special label for my class
        Time to distribute all of the above
    Class time:
        Time to explain project
        Time to assemble and tape to windows
        Time to record and evaluate.

I have news for you:  It ain’t gonna happen, at least in my class.

I don’t need to duplicate what was done in 3rd grade.  I don’t need to ignore what I am supposed to be teaching.

And you wonder why the coming generation is so ignorant.

homo unius libri