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Thursday, April 19, 2012

Opus 2012-90, The Cell Phone Plot

It became clear to me the other day.  I was walking toward my car and saw a poor deformed lady making her way across the parking lot.  My heart began to go out to her as she struggled with her deformity.  Then I realized she was talking on her cell phone, she was not a Quasimodo clone.

You have seen these people.  They have their shoulder hunched up and their head bent over with the phone sandwiched between as they talk with abandon.

I think it is part of a plot by the chiropractors of the world.  The position must do something to the alignment of the spine and cause a plethora of problems.  There are only two solutions:  See the chiropractor or dump the cell phone.  I prefer the second but I don’t see it happening.

Maybe we need a federal program to help people stand up straight.  Perhaps we could have a law making it illegal to take your hand off your cell phone when it is connected with a call.  Perhaps we could require cell phone users to wear a large helmet with a special adapter to hold the phone against their ear.  All of these steps would, of course, be for our own good. 

“I want to be from the government and I am here to help you.”

homo unius libri

2 comments:

  1. Maybe you should get your chiropractic license and profit from all the foolishness!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I must confess, that solution never occurred to me.

    Grace and peace

    ReplyDelete

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