Opus 11, Lessons in Parenting

Recently I was sitting in church and watched a young girl get up and walk out.  She was about ten years old.  Trailing behind her was her mother.  A few minutes later the girl came back, followed by mom.  Another time I saw a similar sight in a restaurant only the mother was trailing three girls.  It took me back to when my children were young.  We would never have let them go off to an unsupervised bathroom.  There are too many perverts out there looking for unprotected children.  It took time, but they were our children and worth the effort.  It felt good to see others who were aware of the dangers.

I used to joke that I would write my book on parenting when my kids hit thirty.  Now I am reaching that milestone and feeling I need to wait until they are 40.  I am beginning to think I will never write the book, but I can offer a post.  Of course, you don’t know my kids.  They aren’t perfect.  They are still works in process.  But I am really proud of them as they are.  So here are a few pointers.  They are not offered in any specific order.  I will save that for the book.

1.  Don’t let anyone else tell you how to raise your kids.  They are unique.  You are an original.  You will run into people with lots of advice.  Listen.  Be polite.  Use what seems wise to you.  Our first child was strong willed.  We had friends who had easy children.  They were full of advice until their second child came and showed a little spirit.  Suddenly the advise stopped.

2.  You are a parent, not a buddy.  If you are concerned about being liked instead of obeyed they will play you like a drum on New Years.

3.  Don’t threaten or promise if you are not going to follow through.  It will undermine everything you try to do in the future.

4.  Be an example.  As part of this I would recommend that you get your spiritual life together.  Don’t think you can send them to Sunday School.  Take them.  If you are not right with God, the odds are they will never be either.

5.  It is a battle, not a game.  You can’t afford to lose this one.  They will say some really nasty things to try to win. 

6.  Love is a decision, not an emotion.  There were times we wanted to take them back and get a refund but we could not find the receipt.  Read I Corinthians 13 which starts with, “Love is patient, love is kind...”

7.  Don’t give up.

I reserve the right to add to this or change it at any time.  Enjoy the journey.  No matter how things are going remember those wise words that I did not make up:  “This too shall pass.”